*For the benefit of our non-native English speakers ROCD friends*
Tough love is an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run. Wikipedia (Not really the picture but I thought it would be fun to have a play on meanings…). Now for the more “serious” stuff…
Ask yourself this question. How long have I been suffering from ROCD? Think about that for a few seconds. Now ask yourself why.Think about that for a few more seconds.
If you treated yourself harshly or started to feel sorry for yourself or re-assessed if you are making or made the right choices in regards to your relationship, then I would have to say that these are the real reasons why you are not really progressing.
If we focus too much on the problem it is going to be very difficult to find solutions to the problem!
Seems simple and obvious but this appears to be what people like ourselves, that have ROCD, do best. True that we need SOME thinking in regards to what we are experiencing. But if your thinking is totally devoted to the problem and symptoms- specially what if’s or If I’s – we are not going to conquer our ROCD.
Furthermore, this sort of mental attitude becomes addictive, reinforces negative behaviours and develops compulsions. Think about another thing…how much time have you devoted to reading other ROCD stories only to spike more without finding solutions? Or discussing the finer details of your what if’s and if’s with a internet stranger?
It is fine for a while, to find support and comfort but then you have to move on to a more the solution focused mindset.
Having ROCD and suffering from ROCD are two completely different things. Can you tell the difference?
What holds your attention holds you and finally becomes you.