“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions”. Dalai Lama
I do not like to consider myself cured from rOCD. I prefer to see myself as symptom free most days and that rOCD has helped me develop a healthier relationship with my wife. Going through the rOCD journey has helped me realize that I had a lot of misconceptions about how love should be and how it should present itself. For that I am eternally grateful to rOCD. I can say that I am a very happy person in my relationship today. It is not perfect (no relationship is) but it is happy because of choice. I am not spiking at every turn and doubting everything all the time.
Before we embark on the rOCD cure and useful tips, we need to understand three basic principles in order to be successful:
Principle 1 – You get what you put in
You are the only person responsible for your mental health and you will have to find a way to get better. Even with professional help. Accept that responsibility. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to regain or improve our mental health. You can’t expect to get better without any effort but in the end the effort pays off.
Principle 2 – It will take time to get better
Accept that change will require time and that where you are now is most likely the result of a long process and not of an on/off button that was pushed. It feels that way but the real causes have been long time in the making…
Principle 3 – Accept the present
Accept each day as it comes. The present is here live in it. Nothing you can do about the past. No point about worrying TOO much about the future.
The following posts will focus on useful tips, advice and exercises that can be used as tool to improve ROCD. The purpose is not to read through them fast to get better fast but rather give you an idea of where you need to work on. Ideally you will use this to build your own “getting better plan”.
1) Print a mindfulness quote – e.g “Live today” and have it where you can see it everyday for most of the day.
2) Take a deep look at how living in the future, comparing yourself to others or setting too high standards (and blaming yourself for not being there yet) is not helping you enjoy the present
3) Do something daily that will put you in a better mood. e.g. make a playlist of your favourite upbeat songs and listen to them even if you don’t feel like it.
4) Look at your schedule and see what are the things that you can change to accommodate more “battery recharging time” and less stress.
5) Try to live mindfully for the rest of the week e.g. do not engage with your thoughts.